ShadowShot : L'enfant Guerrier Read online

  “My dear Johno if you’re reading this it must mean that you’ve successfully found the money and my file on your life. I hope that you are not distressed by the knowledge of your past. I believe that by knowing who you were as a child you can put that part of your life away for good. Two items that I did not mention in the file; it was I who saw to it that Frank would meet your mother, and in this I’m sure it could not have worked out better. He was a good man and a great father for you. Secondly, it was I who steered you into becoming a mercenary. It was my feeling that you needed the training. However, I could not foresee the incident of the night raid and the contract, which was a product of that woman and her children being killed. From the beginning it is true my conniving was to make you into a super- agent, until I realized it was not what you wanted. Then of course I started to become fond of you. You are fun to be around. You know?”

  “Everything I have done since then I hope benefited you in some way. Spend the money wisely. Either destroy or put the file in a very safe place. And if I were you I would marry that Misha girl. If you’re wondering why I went to the trouble of gift-wrapping your inheritance it’s because of this letter. You see, for one of the few times in my life I wasn’t sure what the right thing to do was. I could not be sure that I would find you in Mexico. I labored over whether to tell you this or not. By leaving this note as I did, you might or might not have ever found it. It would be up to the gods to decide. I have done my part. But know this; please forgive me for any mistakes that I’ve made with you. Know that I have only once in my life told another human being that I loved them and that is right now. I tell you Johno, I’ve loved you like a son. You’re a good kid. Now go have a good life.”

  “Oh yes, I almost forgot. If you choose to accept this mission and completely confuse your life, which I don’t think you should, turn the paper over.” It said, “Sophia needs you. Not the same as last time but she still needs you. If you choose to ignore this, which you should, the outcome will be the same for her. There I’ve done my duty please forgive me once again. You are probably saying at this moment, “What about me, what do I need?” You can find her at her home in Paris. Choose wisely Jack. All my love to you, TIO.”

  God, what now? This is incredible. Why would George choose to tell me about this if it wasn’t important? And if it was so important why not tell me when we were in Mexico? ANSWER. Because he knew I would go charging off, and if nothing else, he wanted me to get back home and get the money. FACT. Had I not got back exactly when I did that rat probably would have eaten $20,000 of the money every day. QUESTION. Would I have gone charging off? Will I still? What did he mean, no matter what I do, the outcome will still be the same for her? Riddles? Did he want me to help or didn’t he? Why couldn’t he just say exactly what was happening? I reread it about 10 times looking between the lines.

  The only thing I could come up with for sure was he thought for some reason she needed me. He thought I should ask Misha to marry me and let it go. Whatever was going on with Sophia, showing up wouldn’t change it. In other words, I didn’t have a clue as to what the problem was. The good Lord and George moved in mysterious ways.

  Christ! Even after Tio was dead he was still able to manipulate me! The last part of his letter explained that he was dying of cancer and hoped to find me in Mexico. There was no date on the letter. I didn’t even know how old it was. Judging by when I had left home, when he found me in Mexico, and when I had returned home, it couldn’t have been much more than two and a half months ago. I looked at the brown paper and tape again. It was different than all the other ones I had opened. To me that meant he had probably put the letter in at the last minute just before stashing it in the barn.

  What if I had asked Misha to come and live with me, and then moments later told her I had to rush off to help Sophia. That would’ve gone over big. Or maybe if I had asked I wouldn’t be thinking about going to help Sophia.

  My mother and grandmother had told, me when I was young, always listen to your intuition. I knew something was coming down I just didn’t know what it was but it started to make more sense now that I was about to lose Misha for good and that’s not at all what I wanted.

  Once again it was the same old thing. Just when everything was good and about to get even better, the wind blew in a change. How foolish of me to think that maybe it could be different. I was tired of every time my life was about to settle in it would change directions drastically. I had some decisions to make and soon. There was much to think about. By the time I went to bed, I knew I had to at least communicate with Sophia. I would at least try to find out what was going on.

  I had made a promise to Sophia that if she ever wanted me or needed me I would come to her. Frank had taught me a poem by Robert Service “The Cremation of Sam McGee.” He wanted me to remember that a promise made is a debt unpaid, and the trail has its own stern code. I had made a promise and now I had to keep it.

  I had a choice. I could call her up, but I didn’t know what the situation was. Or I could get hold of my old friend who used to work for George, and see if he could check her out for me. I chose the latter. He got back to me the next day and said as far as he knew she was staying at her apartment and didn’t seem to be in any trouble

  35

  LOVE LOST

  The next day I was on a plane to Paris. I decided if I had to tell Misha that I was in Paris, as much is it displeased me to do so, I would only tell her a half-truth. I was taking care of George’s will because he had made me his beneficiary. Then when it was all over, I would let her know everything.

  Right after I checked into my hotel I made the call. She answered. “Sophia can you talk, are you all right?”

  “Jack, Jack yes, yes I can talk. Where are you? You sound close.”

  “I’m always close Sophia.”

  I told her that George had passed away but he had sent me a note saying that she needed me. I wanted to know what was wrong.

  “I do need to see you Jack, but it’s not like the last time.”

  “What is it then?”

  “It’s better that we talk in person. Tell me where you’re staying. I will come to your hotel tomorrow.”

  I gave her the room number and asked her what time.

  She said they have excellent food there. If she came at noon, we could send up for lunch and have plenty of time to talk. “It’ll be wonderful to see you.”

  Well it certainly didn’t sound like there was anything very urgent. At least that was good. That night I had a hard time getting to sleep even if I did have jet lag. That I would be able to see her tomorrow was more exciting than I wanted to admit to myself.

  When noon rolled around the next day there was a knock on the door. I looked through the peephole and for a long moment I just stared at her until I opened the door. She looked ravishing she gave me a light kiss on the lips and then we had a long hug.

  After the usual amenities, I said, “Sophia you’re more beautiful now than ever if that’s even possible.”

  “Jack you certainly know how to make an old woman feel good. Thank you. You’re just as handsome as ever.”

  I showed her the note that George had left. There was no reason not to. I asked her to explain it.

  “Jack I didn’t know about this. I talked to George a few months ago. He was very ill and said that he wasn’t going to live much longer. I think I understand what he means in the note. He told me that the only thing he had ever failed to complete in his life was bringing the two of us together for good. He really cared about you Jack, and I believe me as well. He knew that I needed to see you to explain to you in person what I’m about to tell you.”

  I braced myself. “Jack this isn’t easy for me. I’ve been living with my lover for a year and a half now.”

  We were sitting across from each other. She must’ve seen the pain in my face. She came out of her chair and knelt before me. She took my hands in hers.

  Her voice cracked as she said, “I hope we will be li
ving together for the rest of our lives. Jack, my lover is a woman.”

  I very stupidly repeated, “A woman.”

  She nodded.

  “Don’t you see Jack? In the note he said I needed you. It wouldn’t matter because the outcome would be the same whether you came or not. He knew the direction that I had gone, and I wasn’t going to change. I needed to see you in person to tell you this. A letter or a phone call would’ve never worked for us. That incredible, all seeing, all-knowing man in his last act has helped us again. My darling Jack, he knew we had to have closure. There has never been a single day when I haven’t thought of you, or loved you.”

  Her eyes were moist, pleading for me to understand.

  I took her face in my hands and kissed away her tears as I had done before, saying, “Get up my darling. Come and sit next to me. Sophia I remember you once told me you had experimented with a woman, but how did this relationship come about?”

  “We met two years ago. We became close friends. One night we experimented realizing we could be lovers. Then we knew we would be lovers, because we really cared about each other.”

  “You love her Sophia?

  “Yes Jack. Not like I love you. I will never love anyone else like I love you, but I do love her. I want to be with her and she has the same feelings for me. I’m tired of men Jack.”

  “Are you tired of me?”

  “No never. But I can’t have you.”

  “That’s not true Sophia. The only thing that’s stopping us from being together is your belief that it couldn’t last. There are no guarantees that any relationship will ever last. We’ve wasted all these years. We could’ve been together. Even now we could still be together. Do you think that I love you any less than I ever have?”

  “No, I can feel the love that you have for me from across the ocean. It surrounds me and nurtures me every day of my life. It always will.”

  “But not enough to forget about our age difference and start our life together at last.”

  “Jack I know you think that’s silly. George did as well, but it’s not the two of you who would be way older than your lover. It would be me and I can’t do that to myself or to you.”

  “All right Sophia. I know your arguments, every one of them. Do you really think this was better to do in person than with a letter? I’m not so sure.”

  “Yes. I am sure a letter would have been too impersonal.”

  “Tell me about this woman.”

  “She’s two years older than I am.”

  I interrupted her and told her, “Well that’s good.” Because just jokingly I said to myself before I got the note from George, that if I found out you had taken a younger lover, I would have had to kill both of you.

  She laughed and continued on, “She’s attractive, intelligent, has money, and she loves me.”

  I said out of curiosity, “Is she the…? Or are you the…?”

  She smiled and said, “She’s the man.”

  “It is utter madness that two people who love each other as we do, for no other reason than their age difference, cannot be together. But, my Sophia, if that is what you want then I respect your wishes. I want you to be happy always.”

  “Thank you, Jack. I wish the same for you. George told me about Misha. She sounds really wonderful. He said that he thought the only thing keeping you apart was your love for me.”

  I sighed, “For sure yes, but in truth there’s more. She is wonderful in every way though she’s not you. She wants children and that’s understandable. But I’ve never really felt like the father type. I don’t even know why. And yet there is even one more problem. I’ve had the feeling for some time, that some change or event is coming into my life. It would not be copasetic with marriage and children. Don’t ask me what it is as I haven’t got a clue, just a feeling and a strong one. But I do love her. Maybe now I can let myself fall in love with her as well. There is a difference isn’t there?”

  “Yes my darling there is for me. I can love my friend, but I’m sure it’s too late for me to ever be in love with anyone but you. You’re still young Jack. If you let yourself, you can have that again too. I promise you. Shall we send up for some food now?”

  I said, “There’s much more I want to tell you about recent events. You’re the only person in the world I can talk to. Misha wouldn’t understand. I need to be able to have someone to talk to.”

  I started with George. I told her everything that had happened in Mexico even about the $600,000 and the rat. Too bad Sophia wasn’t the kind of woman who would be swayed by money, but I knew she wasn’t. I told her everything he had told me about my childhood. She was fascinated that I had been in the resistance and was half-French.

  She said, “I just love that you’re real name is Johno. You know it’s a name a mother gives to her young son, perhaps to be changed when he got older. But nowadays it’s kind of thought to be cool to be called Johno.”

  By the time we finished talking it was getting dark. I thought to ask her, “Does your friend know about me?”

  “Oh yes of course. She knows I’m here with you now. She’s very open-minded and understanding. In fact when I told her last night that I was going to see you, she said she would be going this morning to a place she owns in the country for a few days. I think she just assumed we would need to be together. That’s if you still wanted me. Do you want to make love to me Jack?”

  “Only if you’ll spend the night.”

  “Of course”

  “You really are a demon. You know that don’t you?”

  She said, “Yes, but isn’t it exciting?”

  I said, “My love, I hope that I’m able to satisfy you. I’ve always heard that a woman knows how to make a woman feel better than any man could.”

  “Don’t worry darling. There’s still no one for me like you.”

  I walked over to her, and took her hands in mine, and kissed them. “It’s the same for me too Sophia.”

  “Johno, before we lie down together, do you remember telling me how you thought most women looked better with their clothes on, than naked? You always thought of me being more beautiful naked than clothed?”

  “Yes why?”

  “Because my love I don’t think you’ll find me that way now. I’m preparing you.”

  She stood there smiling at me and started to slip out of her clothes. So I followed suit. We were both standing there naked looking at each other. She smiled and put her hands out as if to say well what do you think. She spun around. Her hair fanned out around her like it had years ago when she had bleached it blonde. She was still beautiful. I could see that her breasts had sagged some. Her buttocks had drooped a little and her legs and arms were not as firm as they once were. But she was still unbelievably perfect.

  I walked over to her and knelt in front of her. “You’re still my goddess and always will be.”

  “Rise then Sir Knight and give your goddess pleasure.”

  As I did so we both took note that my member preceded me at a great distance.

  “I do believe Sir Knight that I am still able to arouse you.”

  I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. We both knew that it would be the last time we would be together. We made love all night long. Our lovemaking was slow, caring, and passionate; only interrupted by dinner, conversation, and time in the hot bath.

  I asked her if she needed any money. I could certainly afford to help her out.

  She told me, “George sent me $50,000 as a little present. He called it my inheritance, and I’ve always been good at saving, so I have some. Plus my friend is well off. But thank you my love.”

  Next morning we had a nice breakfast sent up. It would be our last one together.

  “Go to Misha Jack. You’ll be happy with her, I know you will.”

  We talked about reincarnation. I told her I’d had a conversation with George as well. She asked me if I believed in it. I could only answer that since the beginning of time man had hoped that they could come b
ack. The math didn’t really add up to me, but you couldn’t dismiss all of the apparitions, ghostlike sightings and beliefs that went with that train of thought. Anyway, if it’s true I hoped we will find each other next time around, and that we would start out at the same age.

  “You will always be my King and my true love. If I can ever help you with anything you know that I’m there for you.”

  “Sophia you will always be my Queen and my goddess. I want you to promise me that if you ever need me you won’t hesitate to ask. If you ever want me you’ll send for me. And if I don’t have a swarm of brats that I’ve sired I’ll come to you. Wow! It sounds like we’re making some kind of knightly vows.”

  It sounded so silly that we both cracked up laughing.

  “Sophia, I wish you all the happiness you could ever ask for. Even though we can’t be together, I wouldn’t trade anything for the feeling of love that I have for you or the love you’ve given me through the years.” That was that. She walked out the door and out of my life forever.

  I had read that people who believe in reincarnation also believe in soul mates and that people that have been close to you come back to you again. Well if that was true, next time around I would certainl

  y love to see my Sophia and my family. It would be comforting to have George around orchestrating too. Sophia was of course correct as always. I felt a sense of relief that a chapter of my life was closed and I was ready to open a new one. I knew exactly what I wanted that chapter to be.

  36

  THE PILOT